Suffering In Silence – The Need For Counseling

I am a person who tries my best to control my emotions as much as I could. I am good at denying my true feelings and ignoring the pain that accompanies any heartbreaking experience. I can sometimes fool other people and show them I am okay despite carrying the entire emotional trauma from my past. I can easily convince everyone that I am happy and full of energy. And since I can smile confidently almost anywhere and anytime I want, some people can’t tell that I carry a burden that I do not want to talk about.

I thought these qualities are what make me special. I thought that I am more than okay compared to anybody else because I can hide my true feelings and thoughts. But my situation is more common than I imagined. These habits I constantly practice negatively mean so much as they turn into warning signs of mental health issues. I never genuinely thought that I am suffering in silence because I am convinced that what I do is supposed to make me feel emotionally and mentally better. But then, my loved ones start to point out that they noticed something in me, and here is a couple of them.

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Personality Changes

I love spending time with family and friends. I have this positive energy that I wanted to share with them. So as much as possible, I take time to invest and explore new experiences. But it is not all the time that I am full of excitement. I mean, when people around me say that they find it weird that I don’t show interest in things I once enjoyed, I don’t usually pay attention to that comment. Instead, I keep on making them believe that not engaging in the things I previously like is not something that just comes out of the blue.

But when I think about it, those things I find enjoyable can only turn into uninteresting things when I am emotionally triggered. It can happen when I get disappointed, offended, and maybe heard a piece of bad news. When these triggers manifest, it brings this dreadful feeling that somehow affects my outlook in life, including interacting with other people. Perhaps that is how my loved ones managed to see it.

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Mood Swings

There is nothing I can explain when it comes to the sudden changes in my mood. I believe that my reactions are normal since there are different types of emotions I experienced every day. I am not aware of how I act in response sometimes to things. But then friends, colleagues, and family point out that I angrily burst out when I am stressed and anxious. I tell them there is nothing wrong, and I am just trying to be as transparent as I am to lie about it. But they seem to know that those mood swings are signs of a mental health problem.

I can sometimes be irrational, and that is because I am mentally ill. However, I don’t hurt people, for the record. And I don’t hurt myself either. I am just confused why people can still see and look through me despite being good at pretending.

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Unmindful To Personal Needs

It matters to me, but when people say that I do not practice self-care, I am a bit confused. It is not like I disregard taking care of myself all time, though. But I somehow felt that I am entitled to excuse myself from doing the usual routines I sometimes get fed up with. For me, it doesn’t entirely matter if I suddenly lose some weight or look tired and different because I know I can get by. People around me might not believe it, but I can take care of my physical health the way I can.

But as people close to me pay more attention to the kind of environment I am with, they insist that something is genuinely wrong. They say that the way I handle things in a disorganized manner reflects how my mind works. And since they often see me way too messy and a bit unmindful with my personal needs, they believe that I am not okay. And honestly, they are right about it.

Insight

As much as possible, I do not want to think that I need help. That is the reason why I want to stay happy all the time. I don’t want the people around me to worry about my mental and emotional health because I don’t want them to feel sorry about me. But the truth is, I am hopeless and in despair. I am battling depression and anxiety, and all I can do to protect the people I love is to lie to them about my mental health. But, unfortunately, they know me better than they can easily identify my weakest points.

 

Things That Destroy Your Confidence (Self-Help Counseling)

Some individuals are born with amazing self-appreciation and confidence. These people are aware of their imperfections and still love them anyway. They are born to care for themselves no matter what. But while these types of people exist, some are completely opposite. These are individuals that often take a while to develop their self-confidence. And sometimes, in unfortunate situations, they struggle with it. They somehow wish that their confidence was better, especially when their situations are out of control or are influenced by other people.

If you are one of those individuals that positively benefits from self-confidence, then congratulations! You probably understand how to take care of yourself and the rest of the things around you. But if you are not, then perhaps you need to acknowledge the things that destroy your confidence completely. Here are some of them that you should watch out for.

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Sticking To A Negative Thinking

Your confidence depends so much on how you look at yourself. So when you constantly say that you are not good enough, it becomes your reality. When you find it a habit to conveniently say “I can’t do it,” you become unable to do it. You become what you think. That is how negative thinking works.

If you stay in negative thinking, you will never be confident about yourself and everything you do. You will always worry about uncertainties, and you will not be able to learn from your experience. You will constantly have that thought of not achieving anything, which destroys your overall wellness.

Having Self-Deprecating Talk

One thing that also takes a shot with your confidence is when you self-deprecate. When you always tell yourself that you can’t do it, you are not enough, and you are weak and vulnerable, you are harming confidence big time. The more you talk bad about yourself, the more you’re withdrawing your value and worth.

Talking to yourself negatively contributes a lot to destroying your overall mental and emotional health. That is because you focus more on the negative sides and filter out the positive ones. You automatically blame yourself for everything that is happening and anticipate the worst all the time.

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Setting The Bar Low For Yourself

The habit of setting the bar low alarmingly destroys your self-confidence. And because you rely on an expectation that people should think about you, you allow them to think that way towards you. Thus, when you say you are not good at something, you justify others’ doubts about your capabilities.

Your confidence gets damaged when you continuously disqualify yourself. You naturally think that it is okay not to try. You become unaware of your skills and capabilities just because you want people to deal with high expectations. Often, you think that you are unable even to contribute something worthy to your self-growth.

Caring Too Much About What Others Think

It is entirely easy to destroy a person’s confidence, and that is by allowing negative energy to come in. When you take in other people’s negativity and listen to their criticisms and judgments all the time, you are permitting them to control your life.

If you care too much about what others say and value their opinions and way of thinking over yours, your behaviors suffer. You begin to behave on what you believe others want to see. You work too much on impressing these individuals despite the mental and emotional harm you can get from pretending to be someone else.

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Relying On Social Media

The problem with confidence is that it gets influenced by the things you hear and see. Thus, when you spend too much time on social media, you realized that other people’s lives are worthy of admiration. You become accustomed to comparing your life to them. But social media lives, as we know, are not often as they used to be.

Social media can make you feel unsatisfied, less-worthy, unlucky, and less confident because of the possible dreadful version of reality. It makes you put up with the things that you only want to see. It denies you the truth behind every picture, travel, engagements, and happiness that exist in everyday life.

Dismissing Positive And Helpful Compliments

People compliment you for a lot of reasons. Maybe it is because you are good at something. The initial reaction is saying “thank you” as you walk away and feel good about yourself. But when you try and deflect that positive compliment, you’re selling yourself short. It would seem like you are challenging other people’s judgment towards you.

When you shy away from accepting your positive traits, you are not helping your self-confidence at all. If you do not reinforce a positive mindset towards your capabilities and skills, you will never look into yourself positively. You will get stuck with the idea that people lie to you, which becomes a barrier to your improved confidence.

 

All About Anxiety: Frequently Asked Questions

 

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Anxiety is the natural reaction of the body towards stress. It is a feeling of apprehension or fear of what is about to come. Giving a speech, the first day of school, or going to a job interview may trigger most individuals to feel scared and anxious. However, if your emotions are intense, persist for more than six months, and interfere with your daily activities, you may be experiencing a disorder.

It’s common to feel worried about starting a new career, taking an examination, or transferring to a new location. This form of anxiety is not pleasant, although sometimes it can drive you to do better and work harder. Ordinary anxiety is characterized by feelings that come and go but do not intervene with your daily life. In anxiety disorder, on the other hand, the terrifying feeling may stay with you almost always. It is severe and sometimes incapacitating.

Additionally, this form of anxiety may lead you to stop doing what you previously loved doing. It may prohibit you from getting in an elevator, going out of your house, or even crossing the streets in severe instances. If left unmanaged, the anxiety will continue to worsen.

Anxiety disorders are among the most prevalent forms of emotional disorder and impact anybody at any age. The American Psychiatric Association states that women have a higher likelihood of being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder than men.

Types Of Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety is an essential part of other disorders, including:

  • Phobia – an intense fear of a particular event, object, or activity.
  • Panic disorder – experiencing frequent panic episodes at unusual times. An individual with panic disorder may always be anticipating the next attack.
  • Separation anxiety – afraid of being away from loved ones or away from home.
  • Social anxiety disorder – an intense fear of being criticized by others in social events.
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder – frequently illogical thoughts that may cause you to make particular repeated behavioral patterns.
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder – anxiety after a traumatic situation.

Anxiety is different for other people who experience it. Emotions can vary from a racing heart to having butterflies in your stomach. You may feel uncontrollable, like your body and mind are in total disconnect.

Other ways people have anxiety include panic attacks, painful memories or thoughts, or panic attacks that can’t be controlled. You may also experience a general feeling of worry or fear of you may be scared of an upcoming event, a place, or thing.

Your symptoms of anxiety may be completely different from another person with the same disorder. That is why it is crucial to know the various ways that anxiety can manifest itself.

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Here are frequently asked questions and their corresponding answers regarding anxiety.

What are the first signs of anxiety?

The initial indications of anxiety include restlessness or nervousness, increased heart rate, trembling, sweating, a sense of imminent danger, hyperventilation, sleep difficulties, gastrointestinal problems, and weakness. Consequently, this increases.

Can anxiety cause you to feel symptoms?

Panic attacks and longstanding anxiety releases stress hormones from the brain consistently. Consequently, this increases the incidence of symptoms like dizziness, headaches, and depression. 

What is the most common symptom of stress?

Some of the most common physical symptoms of stress include sweating, muscular tension, increased heart rate and blood pressure, arrhythmias, headaches, and dry mouth.

What are 5 emotional signs of stress?

The top five emotional indications of stress include anxiety, irritability, isolation, a sense of overwhelm, and depression.

What are the 3 causes of stress?

The top three most common causes of stress are money, poor health, and work issues.

What does stress feel like in the body?

When you are tense, and your body senses a threat, the brain takes action by releasing lots of stress hormones, which include cortisol and adrenaline, stimulating your body for sudden or emergency situations. Your heart beats faster, blood pressure increases, muscles tense, your senses become stronger, and your breathing accelerates.

How can I stop stressing?

Simple steps that you can take to help you deal with stress include engaging in physical activity, avoiding alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine, getting sufficient sleep, managing your time wisely, and talking to someone if you think you can’t deal with the stress by yourself. 

Can stress make you physically sick?

Anxiety caused by stress may increase blood flow, which may subsequently make you warm and dizzy. These indications could sometimes mislead you to think that you have flu. Eventually, the stress can debilitate the immune system, and you could become weak and sick. Viruses can easily attack your body. Other physical indications that stress can present with include headaches, constipation, and diarrhea.

What happens if anxiety is left untreated?

The anxiety that is left unmanaged could lead to severely negative outcomes that can affect your whole life. You may not have the desire to go to school, work, or maintain your social relationships. Additionally, when anxiety and panic attacks are untreated over time, they can also cause less urgent but equally threatening physical problems.

Does ignoring anxiety make it go away?

Ignoring your anxiety never makes it go away – the unpleasant thoughts and nervousness will persist. Although some people believe that anxiety becomes real unless you entertain it, the idea to ignore it is potentially detrimental, as it may cause others to self-medicate and turn to other equally unhealthy behaviors.

What help is available for anxiety?

There are specific medications that are available for treating anxiety upon a doctor’s recommendation and prescription. Other treatments that could help manage anxiety include behavioral therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy.

What can anxiety do to your body?

Anxiety can activate your body’s flight or fight reaction, causing the release of hormones, such as adrenaline and other chemicals into your body. This activation accelerates your breathing and your pulse for the brain to acquire more oxygen. The process also allows a person to react appropriately to an extreme situation.

How long can anxieties last?

Generally, anxiety attacks peak within ten minutes and seldom lasts thirty minutes. However, during this short period, the person may feel fear so extreme that he feels as if he is losing control or, worse, he will die. Some people, though, experience anxiety for a few minutes to a few days. Still, for others, their anxiety is more than just worrying about a stressful day at home or at work and may not even disappear for months or years.

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Outlook

Anxiety disorders can be managed with psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of both. Some individuals with a minor anxiety disorder or a fright of something that they can conveniently evade choose to live with the anxiety and not find ways to manage it.

It is vital to understand that anxiety can be treated even in its most extreme cases. Though anxiety typically does not disappear, one can learn to deal with it and live a healthy, happy life.

 

 

 

How Doing DIY Projects Is Good For Mental Health

I used to hate DIY projects when I was younger. My old teacher at school always tried to find a way to make us bring crafty items, be it a model of the solar system or cutouts of trees, fruits, and even mathematical symbols. But I had zero patience with such projects, so Mom and Dad had to pick up the slack and do them all for me. Otherwise, I would not have any project to take to school.

If you would look at me now, though, there was no longer a part of my system that did not like DIY projects. I made the tufted headboard in my bedroom, the cushioned seats for the dining chairs, and the framed puzzles that hung on the walls. While my parents kept on encouraging me not to do that, I kept on going. What can I say – I love DIY projects!

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How It All Started

As you could deduce from my initial statement, being into DIYs was not innate in me. I tried to dodge it all the time and often insisted on buying finished products instead of making them. So, it was undoubtedly an acquired passion.

My love for DIY projects merely started when a package was delivered while I was at my parents’ house one weekend. It was rather big (around six feet tall) and bulky (weighed 15 lbs.). Curious, I stayed around when Dad opened the box and revealed that it was an Ikea wardrobe.

Well, if you had never bought anything from Ikea before (lucky you!), you should know that most – if not all — of their products came disassembled in a box. You would need to put everything together – like a puzzle if you will. However, since Mom and Dad were too old for the complex and lengthy instructions written on the manual, they asked for their only child’s help.

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Of course, I wanted to say, “No, thanks.” Still, I was not too fond of DIYs up to this point. But I also knew that it would not be nice of me to decline to help my beloved parents do a small task, so we laid out all the pieces in their bedroom and began to work.

Mom supported the large panels, Dad took care of the screws, and I told them which pieces had to be joined together. It took us less than an hour to build the wardrobe. Instead of getting tired, I felt pumped to do more DIY projects. I discovered a whole new side of me that I would never have known existed.

DIY Projects Are Perfect For Mental Health

The Ikea wardrobe was merely the beginning of the many projects that I took on over the years. After that, I went to the store myself and bought a console table that I assembled at home. It was a success, and it made me want to do more – bigger – DIY stuff.

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Although I never had issues with my mental health, I could see how DIY projects would be perfect for depression, anxiety, etc. After all, they could:

Make You Happy

DIY projects come with varying levels of difficulty, but they generally make you feel happy in the process. When I made my first chandelier out of plastic spoons, I got burned with hot glue a few times. However, the more I got closer to seeing the finished product, the more I stopped caring about the hot glue.

Give You A Sense Of Fulfillment

Whenever I do a project, I take pride in knowing that I did it with my bare hands and what little tools I had at home. I could have bought fancy equipment, but that would have been less gratifying. Hence, once the craft was complete, my heart would get filled with a sense of fulfillment.

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I believe that that’s what’s missing in depressed individuals – a sense of fulfillment. While the sensation that DIY projects give is not long-term, it’s enough to help people see that there’s still something good in the world.

Distract You Well

A friend of mine was into DIYs, too, and she said that her love for it started when only doing puzzles kept her from acting on her suicidal thoughts years ago. Every time it got noisy in her head, my friend would unbox a 1000-piece puzzle and work on it for a few hours. As a result, not only did it serve as an excellent distraction, but it also gave her new items to decorate with.

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Final Thoughts

Whether you had been dealing with mental health issues or just wanted to pick up a new hobby, I would recommend trying DIY projects. You don’t need to start with Ikea wardrobes as I did – that was more of a situational thing. You could look up DIY projects online and do one that you were interested in. That way, it won’t take long for you to realize the benefits of doing DIY projects.

Cheers!

Stress-Relief Ideas For The Whole Family

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Stress is one of the world’s biggest health concerns as it may lead us to many other health issues such as exhaustion, a weak immune system, or even organ damage. Due to the increase in movement, performance, and versatility in today’s society, it is assumed that a person’s stress exposures will increase more in the future. This is why people need to identify their ways of coping with stress.

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Ways To Handle Stress When You’re New At Being Rich And Famous

Has your dream of being rich and famous finally come true?

You deserve nothing but respect and perhaps a standing ovation because of that, to be honest. Imagine, you probably used to pray to be in that position every night in the last few years. The road to success may not have been as polished as you wish either. Despite that, you prevailed, and you are now where you want to be. So, congratulations!

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Celebrations aside, however, it’s highly apparent that stressful moments can still befall you even if you already live comfortably. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a YouTube sensation, a new pop star, or the owner of a startup business – pressure may come your way nevertheless. After all, you may feel the need to always prove to people why you are worthy of their love and following.

However, “the psychology of wealth is knotty,” says Olivia Mellan, a psychotherapist. “On the surface, being wealthy can make people believe they have more control over their lives, but it can also control them emotionally.”

“Will life ever not be this hectic?” you might ask. Well, it primarily depends on how good you are at handling stress. If you have run out of tricks for that, check out the way we’ve laid out below.

 

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  1. Delegate Some Work To Others

Bret Moore, PsyD suggests, “Interspersed between the consistent, low-grade, wear you down over time type stress, your clients also experience days of fast-paced, unrelenting, and “sharp pain” aggravations.  One of the more common (and curable) aggravations is shouldering too many responsibilities.”

When you were still starting your career, it’s understandable that you may have to DIY everything. In case you make videos for a living, you possibly have no choice but to be your lighting director and video editor. If you market products, the process of getting items wrapped and delivered to customers may be something that you, your parents, and other relatives need to do.

Despite that, since you already have enough cash in the bank, you should consider hiring more staff. You can afford to get additional help to expand your brand now. It’s no longer necessary to cut costs because you have the means to pay other people to work for you.

If you heed this advice, you can focus on coming up with more productive ideas instead of stressing over every aspect of the business.

  1. Show The Real You

Self-made individuals such as yourself may deal with less pressure as well if you avoid doing what others do and show the real you. That’s perhaps one of the things that have drawn people in towards your brand, frankly speaking. Although you may move with a bit more finesse than usual or put on clothes from high-end labels, you cannot forget to present your true nature to everyone.

  1. Take Time Off If Necessary

In case you have never paid attention to the daily routine of successful people, you should know that most of them give a little of their time to sleep. The notion of being in bed for eight hours seems ridiculous for them, considering some are already out and about before the sun rises. “People need time off from work to recover from stress and prevent burnout,” said David W. Ballard, PsyD,

Although their dedication to work is beyond incredible, it’s best for you to not push past your physical limitations all the time. Similar to extra staffing, you can also afford to go on a short vacation once in a while and recharge yourself. Refusing to do so may burn you out eventually, and that won’t be favorable for anyone.

 

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Being newly rich and famous means that exciting times are ahead for you. You may not need to worry about where to get the money to pay for your next rent or car mortgage. You may be able to travel the world as well without putting a cap on your budget.

Nonetheless, you should learn how to handle stress this early so that it won’t pollute your mind and body later. If you want to talk to a professional who will walk you through managing your daily stresses and challenges, subscribe to the BetterHelp app. It provides a way for you to discuss your mental health concerns, including stress, anxiety, and others, anytime and anywhere. Check out some client reviews here or know more about signing up today! Good luck!

 

 

Baking Therapy

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Considering you are a novice in the world of counseling, you should realize from here on out that any activity can be a form of therapy. You can write in a diary, and that has a healing effect on people. You may turn your garden into a little paradise, and the process of doing so is somewhat therapeutic as well.

Some therapists, in fact, even go as far as recommending baking to clients. Keep on reading to know why.

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Not Couples Counseling But Couples Relationship Enrichment

(Ways to Bond with Your Significant Other to Keep the Fire Burning)

 

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Why are there couples who look so happy together even after twenty or thirty years of marriage? There are some who divorce after two years which is why being married for a decade is a lifetime achievement. Not everyone can reach that level of commitment with one partner. Some people change lovers as if they’re changing underwear. The sanctity of marriage is easily broken, and families are torn apart in a snap.

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What I Did To Survive Without Pay During The Pandemic

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It’s been pretty hard lately. COVID-19 has forced us into this seclusion, and a lot of us have no work. If there is no work, then there is no pay. That’s what happened to me. For more than two months, I have been staying at home with no work. At first, it shook me. How can I literally live without pay for the next few months? I knew it was going to be long since there is no known vaccine for the virus. And there are new cases of COVID-19 each day. It’s just increasing. How can I survive this?

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COVID-19: Signs Of Mental Illness You Should Never Ignore

With all the unfortunate things about the pandemic that have been going around you lately, did you ever remember the last time you felt sad and anxious? Can you recall the last moment where you feel scared and off? If those emotional issues are still lingering with you, it might mean something much more profound. Thus, you must take extra effort in identifying the signs that trigger your mental illness.

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Things To Look Out For:

You might be experiencing a mental health problem when you have feelings of sadness for almost two weeks. Perhaps you can argue that all individuals feel sad, especially at times of this global health crisis. Therefore, it shouldn’t have to be an issue. One time or another, there is the possibility that you can easily shrug it off and be happy again. That is because the usual feelings of sadness get better with time. However, the abnormally intense sadness that somehow lasts for two weeks is a significant sign of depression. It should not be taken lightly when you can no longer snap out of it, and sadness affects your physical aspects.

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Other signs of having a mental condition are your unexplained mood swings. If you often feel the sudden swift on your mood and pretty much do not know why perhaps there is something wrong with your brain function. But note that positive mood swings such as joy or love are considered normal since there is a stable release of hormones. However, if you experience a dramatic mood swing that instantly affects your energy and behavior, it can be a bipolar disorder.  That is if it has nothing to do with what’s going on around in your life. Some of these uncontrolled emotions are sadness, anger, and extreme excitement or euphoria.

If your worry and anxiety about this pandemic reached the uncontrollable level, it might be a sign of anxiety disorder. It is the inability to shut off the negative thoughts you have in mind. Some other mental disorder symptoms are the inability to sleep, rising thoughts, unexplained body pains, and sudden irritation. Sometimes these signs may feel too normal.  But if you ever felt this way for at least six months, it would be better to talk to a mental health professional about your symptoms.

If it is impossible for you to talk to a therapist face-to-face, reaching out to someone online is the next best step. BetterHelp is an online mental health app that offers you the opportunity to talk to a mental health professional in the comfort of your own home – 24/7. Those who have tried have attested its credibility and efficiency in being able to assist people in managing their stress, anxiety, and other mental health concerns that they might need help with. Visit this site to know more about it today.

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In times like this, where all individuals are socially distancing themselves from others, it becomes a great way to avoid the spread of the virus. Besides, as of now, that is the only thing everyone can do to flatten the curve of the outbreak. But when you somehow lose interest with other people and always make excuses not to connect with them in any form, it can also be a sign of mental illness. When you start to withdraw yourself from other people or embrace the idea of isolation, it can mean either you are dealing with depression, social anxiety, or psychotic disorder.

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Another sign of mental illness is the difficulty of dealing with typical situations in life. Understandably, it is very challenging to deal with things right now due to the global health crisis. There is too much uncertainty that you can’t get enough. However, when you continuously experience being stuck in an awful situation all the time, and you can’t seem to do anything, one that hurts your ability to function. It can be a sign of depression or anxiety. It shows that what you are experiencing is more than just a rough patch that makes you unable to sustain mental, emotional, and even physical stability. If you can identify these symptoms, please seek professional advice.