Learning to love yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do to maintain healthy overall development. It caters to the emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental aspects. About self-improvement, it fixes things such as low self-esteem and removes the feeling of unworthiness. Loving yourself can also become a tool in addressing a strong need for validation from other people because it increases the level of self-confidence. With all its benefits, one may throw questions. How exactly can someone love himself more? Why does it become psychology’s best method for healing and improvement?
“Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life. It is so important to your welfare that I want you to know how to bring more of it into your life.” – Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.
Focusing On The Genuine Side
Why do you think all people love the good guy in general? Well, there are several reasons to think about, but it is always because of the story behind why someone chooses to be one. The unique thing about this is the fact that you don’t hear the stories directly on the individual’s mouth. You get it from the strangers who happened to be there witnessing the good deeds that the person does for others. That means he is helping people without even bragging about it. The individual does not care for validation, and not doing it for gaining points or attention. It is genuinely because of the likes of becoming a good person. But what does it have to do with self-love?
Specific traits make people so lovable, and this is where the secret to loving yourself lies. That is because the more people look at you as someone reliable, genuine, honest, and trustworthy, there is a gained character buildup. It affects the way you picture yourself. The way how other people see you will become the foundation of how you treat yourself and others. So the more you do good deeds, the more people love you. And the more they love you, the more you love yourself.
What Hinders The Mentality
“One of the biggest myths about self-love is that it means never having another negative thought about ourselves. Ever again. But “having unhelpful thoughts is a normal part of life,” said Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C.
The reason why other people do not seem to love themselves is because of the not-so-admirable traits they don’t like about themselves. It could be because they think they are lazy, irrational, or socially awkward. Or maybe these people believe they are not someone that others can count on because they are sometimes unpredictable and out of control. This negative mentality becomes a hindrance to not loving one’s self. That is because there is too much focus on hatred and self-doubt instead of appreciation.
A lot of things can contribute to the idea of not loving one’s self. Some items can make people feel they are not good enough. That even if they try hard to live up with their potential, these individuals still think that nothing seems to matter. The reason for that is because they don’t have someone that believes in them. With that, the importance of treating others becomes a powerful tool for self-healing and motivation. However, it does not need to be an exaggeration of what a person needs and supposed to do. As long as he knows how to care for others genuinely, it is going to be enough.
Fix The Ratio
Sure, nobody is perfect. You cannot walk around and do good deeds to others and claim you are one of the good guys. There are still traits that segregate you from becoming a genuine person. But, instead of focusing on the negative side, you can always decrease the things you dislike about yourself. You can consider doing something brave like speaking up for yourself, taking the risk, and standing up for others. These traits will make you appreciate your capabilities and abilities. You can also start doing hard work. These include building good daily habits that creates progress in your projects and other endeavors. You can start hitting the gym as well and maintain physical balance too. Or you can begin talking with people and try to have more in-depth conversations with them. Learn about their past, engage with their ideas, and show concern on their emotions. As you can see, if you start incorporating quality traits that make people like you, you will begin to love yourself even more.
This is what Teresa Trower, LMHC, “Many people, unfortunately, measure their self-esteem, and similarly their self-love, by their level of accomplishment. As long as everything is going well, meaning that you’re upwardly mobile, spouse and kids are successful and satisfied, and the money is rolling in, it’s fairly easy to love yourself. After all, you’re a winner, right? Self-love comes easy under these circumstances.”
Loving yourself is not that hard. However, you won’t make it if you only focus on building it from what you thought gets limited inside a box. Go out in the world, and treat people the way they deserve. By that, you will be amazed at how a single appreciation of your action can make you feel better about yourself.