(Ways to Bond with Your Significant Other to Keep the Fire Burning)
Why are there couples who look so happy together even after twenty or thirty years of marriage? There are some who divorce after two years which is why being married for a decade is a lifetime achievement. Not everyone can reach that level of commitment with one partner. Some people change lovers as if they’re changing underwear. The sanctity of marriage is easily broken, and families are torn apart in a snap.
What’s the secret to long-lasting marriage and a happy life? Did you know that the simplest of things is the answer to this question? It only requires a four-letter word – B – O – N – D. You need to bond with your spouse or partner. How can we do that?
According to Sarì Harrar and Rita DeMaria Ph.D., “You need to be able to say ‘My spouse comes first.’ This is your anchor relationship. If you establish this now, it will be easier to hold on to when life becomes more complicated later in your marriage.”
Here are some ways to bond (AND SOME OTHER THINGS) with your significant other to keep the fire burning (without the need for couples counseling – YET.)
Practice The Art Of Acceptance.
You are a unique person. Sometimes, you’re in a depressive mood, and at times, you are in a manic phase. Yes, I’m talking about bipolar disorder. This condition will affect your marriage in a lot of ways, but if your partner will practice acceptance, he or she is doing the right thing. I’m not saying that one must always accept the things that they cannot change – it also depends on the situation. What I’m saying here is be accepting of your spouse or partner and let go of the small things. Don’t expect too much. Instead, be realistic and help your spouse or partner be a better person. If you do this, you are strengthening your bond with each other.
Allison Ricciardi, LMHC says, “We must embrace marriage as our vocation—the state in life to which God calls us to become the best version of ourselves. That perspective can open new vistas on this mystery of human love and life, and through the challenge enable us to become the best that we can be.
Always Be Kind.
It is a must, always. You have to be kind to your significant other. Don’t forget to say the magic words like PLEASE and THANK YOU. If you are in the wrong, you also have to learn how to say I’M SORRY. Tell him that you’re thinking of him. Send a message in the middle of the day saying that you miss her. Make him breakfast. Hold her hand while you walk. Show affection. These are kind things to do that are small, but also significant – if you get the meaning of it.
Do The 10-Minute Rule Each Day.
What is the 10-minute rule? It is a time wherein you have to talk about whatever topic you want except bills, kids, work, stress, and the marriage. Just connect with one another in those ten minutes, and you can talk about your personal goals and dreams – for one. Do this every single day. It will renew your feelings for each other and may also keep your mental health state at bay.
Date Night Each Week Is Required.
The both of you must go out and leave the house without thinking of the kids. It’s just one night, and you have to do it once a week. See a movie. Eat dinner at the new restaurant. Watch an art show or do yoga together. Just leave the messy home and have fun with your spouse – call it a date night. Some book a hotel room and do it overnight – literally and figuratively speaking.
Communicate In A Healthy Way.
Marriages fail because some couples don’t know how to communicate. Your significant other is not a psychic. If you want or need something from your spouse or partner, you have to say it without blaming, fighting or accusing. There should be no name-calling, shouting, and bringing up the past. Emotional abuse must not take place as well. Be calm and patient. Talk respectfully and don’t criticize.
“If we can find a way to talk about our partner’s behaviors and how those behaviors impact the way we feel, then it is much easier for our partner to hear,” says Dana McNeil, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
(Now, if your troubles are on the brink, then, you may require couples counseling. BetterHelp may be able to assist you with that. It has an online platform where you can reach out to one of the therapists who is trained to discuss mental health issues, including strategies that may guide you in achieving peace and happiness in your marriage. Watch client success stories here and get connected with them today.