Things That Destroy Your Confidence (Self-Help Counseling)

Some individuals are born with amazing self-appreciation and confidence. These people are aware of their imperfections and still love them anyway. They are born to care for themselves no matter what. But while these types of people exist, some are completely opposite. These are individuals that often take a while to develop their self-confidence. And sometimes, in unfortunate situations, they struggle with it. They somehow wish that their confidence was better, especially when their situations are out of control or are influenced by other people.

If you are one of those individuals that positively benefits from self-confidence, then congratulations! You probably understand how to take care of yourself and the rest of the things around you. But if you are not, then perhaps you need to acknowledge the things that destroy your confidence completely. Here are some of them that you should watch out for.


Sticking To A Negative Thinking

Your confidence depends so much on how you look at yourself. So when you constantly say that you are not good enough, it becomes your reality. When you find it a habit to conveniently say “I can’t do it,” you become unable to do it. You become what you think. That is how negative thinking works.

If you stay in negative thinking, you will never be confident about yourself and everything you do. You will always worry about uncertainties, and you will not be able to learn from your experience. You will constantly have that thought of not achieving anything, which destroys your overall wellness.

Having Self-Deprecating Talk

One thing that also takes a shot with your confidence is when you self-deprecate. When you always tell yourself that you can’t do it, you are not enough, and you are weak and vulnerable, you are harming confidence big time. The more you talk bad about yourself, the more you’re withdrawing your value and worth.

Talking to yourself negatively contributes a lot to destroying your overall mental and emotional health. That is because you focus more on the negative sides and filter out the positive ones. You automatically blame yourself for everything that is happening and anticipate the worst all the time.


Setting The Bar Low For Yourself

The habit of setting the bar low alarmingly destroys your self-confidence. And because you rely on an expectation that people should think about you, you allow them to think that way towards you. Thus, when you say you are not good at something, you justify others’ doubts about your capabilities.

Your confidence gets damaged when you continuously disqualify yourself. You naturally think that it is okay not to try. You become unaware of your skills and capabilities just because you want people to deal with high expectations. Often, you think that you are unable even to contribute something worthy to your self-growth.

Caring Too Much About What Others Think

It is entirely easy to destroy a person’s confidence, and that is by allowing negative energy to come in. When you take in other people’s negativity and listen to their criticisms and judgments all the time, you are permitting them to control your life.

If you care too much about what others say and value their opinions and way of thinking over yours, your behaviors suffer. You begin to behave on what you believe others want to see. You work too much on impressing these individuals despite the mental and emotional harm you can get from pretending to be someone else.


Relying On Social Media

The problem with confidence is that it gets influenced by the things you hear and see. Thus, when you spend too much time on social media, you realized that other people’s lives are worthy of admiration. You become accustomed to comparing your life to them. But social media lives, as we know, are not often as they used to be.

Social media can make you feel unsatisfied, less-worthy, unlucky, and less confident because of the possible dreadful version of reality. It makes you put up with the things that you only want to see. It denies you the truth behind every picture, travel, engagements, and happiness that exist in everyday life.

Dismissing Positive And Helpful Compliments

People compliment you for a lot of reasons. Maybe it is because you are good at something. The initial reaction is saying “thank you” as you walk away and feel good about yourself. But when you try and deflect that positive compliment, you’re selling yourself short. It would seem like you are challenging other people’s judgment towards you.

When you shy away from accepting your positive traits, you are not helping your self-confidence at all. If you do not reinforce a positive mindset towards your capabilities and skills, you will never look into yourself positively. You will get stuck with the idea that people lie to you, which becomes a barrier to your improved confidence.